Category Archives: Penny

What I Learned Walking the Dog.

Posted on October 21, 2010 | Leave a comment

As a parent, I am always looking for ways to teach my kids about life.  Sometimes lessons are obvious (don’t lick the electric socket please) and some can be buried under metaphor or, as it happens, on walks with the dog.

Who knew walking around the development with my dog was so chock full of life lessons (especially the importance of checking for holes in the plastic bag before I leave)?  The other night, while the dog and I were on our evening stroll around the development, I started thinking more about how our walks could parallel life (these are the thoughts that have my wife looking at me like I’m an idiot).

Most of us are familiar with them.  Holding tight.  Stopping to sniff the roses.  Picking up after ourselves and there is no place like home.  But life, like the dog, will sometimes throw you a curve and these lessons can be found to take on new meanings.

Hold Tight.  Life, when you least expect it, has a way of pulling you in directions much like an 80lbs dog hellbent on running down the rabbit she saw from across the street.  If you aren’t careful and don’t have a good grip, the next thing you know you’re being drug in to the neighbors yard trying not to fall flat on your face.  Life can take you places you don’t want to go.  If you aren’t ready for it, your wife is covering the cuts on your knees with Neosporin (so to speak). Life will put you in to situations that are best to be avoided but the good news is, they can be, so long as you hold tight.

Stop and Sniff the Roses.  Yeah, we all know this one, but if you happen to be walking a dog, you’ll be stopping to sniff the grass, mailboxes, street signs, trashcans, twigs and anything else that passes over your canine’s snout.  Dogs are never that much in a hurry to stop and sniff things out. Why should we be?  Sure life can speed by us like Usain Bolt in a 100meter dash, but that shouldn’t mean we don’t stop once in a while.  There are lots of things to see, do, be apart of even if those things can sometimes smell a little bit like trash or the remnants of the last dog that walked by, it’s worth it to stop and sniff. And we should do it to figure out which elements to avoid and which ones really do smell like the roses.

Pick Up After Yourself.  Unless you would like to draw the ire of your neighbors, it is advisable to bring a bag on your walk (again let me stress the importance of making sure there are no holes in the bottom of the bag).  You need to pick up after your dog just like you need to pick up after yourself (metaphorically, otherwise get yourself some help).  You should, at the risk of finding yourself on an episode of Hoarders, make sure you pick up the clutter, but occasionally life leaves a turd on the lawn for you to pick up too.  Life isn’t always pretty (and sometimes smells).  It is unapologetic about leaving a mess too.  In the face of the steamy pile life left you, we don’t shirk the responsibility of making sure we remember to pick up after ourselves.

There is No Place Like Home.  This one is pretty much as it seems.  After a long walk around the development, my dog is always excited to walk back up our driveway and get to our front door and the comforts (and doggy treats) of home.  After time away, whether it be vacation, work, or a trip to the mall, there is something about coming home.  Back to the arms of your loved ones.  Back to the comfort and safety your home provides.  This is something that can be taken for granted until you see the dog, tail wagging with excitement, ready to burst through the front door and get back to her family and the place we call home.

I’m trying to teach my kids about life.  Sometimes what is needed to be taught is as obvious as knowing giving the cat a haircut is not such a good idea.  Sometimes what needs to be said is not so obvious or has been overlooked until, in this instance, the dog brings it to light for me.  I want to teach my kids life isn’t always great.  Life can sometimes take you places that are not so nice.  Present to you things that aren’t so rosy and leave you a mess to clean up afterward.  I also want to let them know, that no matter what life throws at them, they always can find comfort and safety at home.  And when I think they understand all of that, I’ll teach them something else…just as soon as I get back with the dog.

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Posted in home, kids, Penny

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Lessons from a Dog.

Posted on April 28, 2010 | Leave a comment
My dog Penny and I are quickly approaching our 1 year anniversary together (I’m thinking of getting her a peanut butter filled Kong and taking her on a nice long walk through the development as a gift).  In that time, she has learned from us (despite what my wife may think) things like sit, stop, off, go potty, treat, and of course no.  It is almost like having another child (coincidentally listens about as well as the kids do).  One that may not wear a diaper but would most likely try to eat one.  
But as Penny’s dog trainer John told us, as much as you teach them, they will teach you too.  Teach us she has.  All about the wonders of owning a Labrador/Retriever puppy with the energy equivalent to the Hiroshima blast.  
Here are just some of the things we have learned from Penny…
  
On walks, being able to see critters like rabbits, birds, other dogs, and neighbors gives me a chance to get my feet set and tighten up the leash before she takes off.  Think Quint in Jaws before the shark took his line and he belted, snapped, and locked himself in to his seat.  Same concept.


Always look behind me before walking to avoid tripping over the dog.


Try to remember I still have a cat.


Someone will always happy to see me when I come home.


Time means nothing.  5 minutes or 5 days, it’s all the same.


My socks, shoes, the coffee table, stuffed animals, picture frames, umbrellas, stink bugs, Trex decking, leather belts, and my wife’s Crocs all are viable chew toys.


It would be safer for me to be texting, drinking a boiling hot cup of coffee without a lid, smoking, and driving with my knees than letting the dog sit up front with me in the car.


Windows will be down on car rides, prevailing weather conditions be damned.


Her bark is much worse than her bite.


The world his her toilet.


If she jumps up and her head catches your nose, you will bleed.


When playing with the dog, the kids haven’t hit the floor that much since they wore diapers.


She keeps my side of the bed warm until I’m ready to go to sleep (bonus in the wintertime).


If you want to see her leg kick, roll her on her back and scratch between her hip, back and belly.  If she were a cat, she would purr.


She maintains a love/hate relationship with the cat (She loves the cat.  The cat hates her.)


At 75lbs, she continues to think of herself as a lap dog.


She gives me another reason, besides the three girls living in my house, to close the toilet seat.


She snores louder than I do.


Always be on the lookout in the backyard (I mentioned the world is her toilet?).


And of course, what I have learned the most is that she is, by far, this man’s best friend.

   

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Posted in Penny

The Yard Sale

Posted on July 3, 2009 | Leave a comment

Salmon migrating upstream. The tears of Isis flooding the Nile or public drunkenness arrests during Spring Break. Some things in life a just a given to happen. The annual community yard sale is another one of those happenings.
Once a year, our homes are purged of the gifts we got from relatives we never see, holiday parties at work, and 2 for 1 sales at Payless. While guilt keeps you from merely depositing your Great Aunt Rose’s Christmas ceramic salt and pepper shakers into your local landfill, selling those shakers for $1.25 helps to put that guilt to rest(just don’t tell Aunt Rose).
When Hannah read about our community yard sale from the green construction paper sign hanging from a telephone pole at the edge of our development I was thrust into figuring out what in the house we could sell(damn Hannah’s new found literacy). Myself, I feel no such emotions of guilt from letting the fine men of AJ Bloneski’s hauling away our clutter. My wife? Racked with guilt. Anytime I throw something away it’s like the Tell Tale Heart only it’s not a dead guy under the floor, it’s a candy dish from the dollar store her cousin got her for a Secret Santa gift sitting in our trash can calling out to her. It didn’t help that my kids began to inventory everything in the basement for the sale(given enough time I’m sure they would have found a way to break down the pool table and get it out to the garage).
So the night before the sale, I’m in my garage arranging our makeshift store like the elves who helped that poor Cobbler. I break all sorts of man codes when I convert my Black and Decker portable work bench into a toy display. Two 10 gallon Tupperware containers stacked on top of each other becomes a place for puzzles and other games. Simultaneously I am also playing goalie for my kids. I have to send them back in the house telling them to return the randomly snatched items they think are good to sell tomorrow(I guess I should have explained my alarm clock and their mom’s hairdryer weren’t for sale before we started?).
The sale is set to start at 8am. This means people will inevitably begin cruising around your block like a Tiger Shark going in for a kill shortly after the sun rises(don’t be surprised if you get a knock on your door either). Keep in mind most of these people are the same humans who wait in line for three days on the sidewalk waiting for an X-Box, trample Walmart employees during ‘Black Friday’ sales, and expect a full steak dinner 10 minutes before a restaurant closes.
8:00am sharp I open the garage door to reveal my bounty. I’m hoping for a ‘Oh my god, this is the first time we saw One Eyed Willy’s pirate ship’, mouth agape, eyes wide opened response. What I get is the flow of human traffic divert to my garage in a mildly interested manner(I can’t help but think how much this reminds me of a George A Romero zombie film).
At any yard sale, you get a few types of shoppers. Those who are looking for the hidden Constitution in a picture frame or some other rare treasure unknowingly being sold for $.50 to be shown on Antiques Roadshow. Then you have the bargain seekers. Those people who would rather spend $1.00 for a pair of socks instead of shelling out $5.00 at Target for a pack. There are the parents and grandparents looking for toys for their kids and then there are the people who have nothing better to do on a Saturday and have $3.50 in their pocket and are looking to fill the trunks of their cars.
I can tell you that my Tub Time Dora the Explorer has no hidden draft of the Declaration of Independence and Ming Ming isn’t housing Spanish doubloons. My puzzles are guaranteed to be missing the last three pieces needed to complete them and my baby changing table should have been chemically scrubbed before putting it out.
I chained Penny out front to be my literal and figurative barker to bring in some patrons(even at the risk of being annoyed by Marley references). I’m $2.50 in the black when the Fisher Price slide and Puss in Boots stuffed animal are sold. Penny is pulling people in left and right(she will get paid in Pupperoni’s).
Two guys who are conversing in another language(I think I may have caught a ‘me gusta’ so I’m guessing Spanish) have their interest piqued by the television set I have out. After some deliberation and a demonstration to show them it works, I pocket $10.
I can see it in people’s eyes every purchase is like when Peter Minuit bought Manhattan for twenty four dollars and some pelts from the Native Americans. They think they are stealing my kid’s Kung Fu Panda set for $3.00. I’m just glad someone is willing to pay money for stuff I was more than willing to throw away(If wampum were legal tender I’d take that too).
As the congestion begins to thin so do my opportunities for another buck. My neighbor across the street, who has more inventory on his front lawn than an Amway salesman has in his basement, is beginning to breakdown his stands. With no real end time, his cleaning up signaled to me it was time to call it a day.
I pulled in $35 for items that would have been on the curb Tuesday night. $4.00 of the thirty five went to Mr. Softee who was going through a development bursting at the seams with kids(Talk about striking while the iron is hot?). I dished out another $2.00 for the girls to go around and buy something we are sure to put out during next year’s sale. So I ended the day with $29.00 net. Not bad considering I didn’t want to do this from the beginning.
As I was cleaning up there were still rogue patrons hunting down that right buy with the change left in their car. Some people were looking in boxes oblivious to the homeowners putting away said boxes. I thought closing the garage door would be a good idea at this point before someone stops to ask about my tools or my lawnmower or worse, asks if the grill were still open.

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Posted in Amway, dollar, Penny, sell, yard sale